Days 22 and 23, 31 Days of Self-Love.

What can you do to set boundaries in your life and Respect yourself enough to weed out the bad and toxic things in your life.

Day 21 talked about being around people that make you feel good about yourself, when these two days talk about why.  For many of us lacking self-love can turn one into a people pleaser.  What is a people pleaser?  Someone who puts everyone’s else’s whim above their own as long as that person is happy, even if it sacrifices the happiness of the pleaser themselves.

Setting boundaries isn’t a bad thing, it’s a self-care and necessary thing depending on the situation you’re in.  Now, if you’re setting boundaries around people you don’t really know, you’re never going to get to know them, so try to figure out what is the best way to not jump in feet first, and find out the hard way about situations, people or bad habits, but instead ease yourself into it. 

If the situation doesn’t feel right, then back away.  If it is something going on at work, then just go, do your job and go home.  Depending on the size of the place you’re going to make good, lasting friendships, and you don’t want to miss that if you build a wall.  Boundaries ARE NOT WALLS, they are the line in the sand that you draw and either allow yourself to step over it or you allow people to step over it. 

Through no one’s fault but my own, I have placed trust in many people I should not have, even after being warned, but my need to be liked and to people please did a manual override on what I already knew in my heart not to do, and I did it anyway.  So now, I am learning all over again how to set boundaries and to learn to listen to my spidey senses when they are tingling and go with that instinct.  Sometimes we make a mistake, but life always find a way to keep the right people in our life, while weeding out those who don’t add to your life, but instead subtract from it. 

If it is family, then you have to deal with this the best way you can. If this relationship is toxic to the point of any type of abuse, you have to make the hard  choices.  Not everyone will agree with them, but those people aren’t walking in your shoes, and you have to keep you safe.

In a less life threatening scenario, friends will come and go. Some will be toxic, some will be just meant for a season or two, but no matter which friends come and go, take the lesson (if they’re negative), or take the memories if life just got in the way and they’re no longer on the same path as you.  Down the road your paths could meet again as a forever friend or just a season once more.

Just remember, self-love is 100% doing what is best for your positivity and wellbeing.   So be kind to yourself, be kind to others and somewhere in the middle all things will work out wonderfully. Life isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be hard either. 

Life is going to hand you heartbreaks, mine (my position of 15 years being eliminated) quite possibly turned into a life changing epiphany.  It only happened yesterday, but I feel more open and more ready to accept the path ahead of me and see where this journey takes me.  One day at a time, one step at a time. 

Days 22 an 23:

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